Ann Allan : 99 or 00

There are many important questions needing answers for the citizens of NI and beyond:

Will Edwin Poots succeed in getting rid of the protocol ?

Will Jim Alister ever learn to smile and most importantly:

How will we cope if a 99 becomes a 00?

Having had some investigative experience I set off to find out from the man himself ( who wished to remain anonymous) at Seapark in Holywood where I have in the past purchased a 99 from his ice cream van.

‘What will you do if you can’t get chocolate flakes’ I asked. ‘Will the people of Holywood revolt?

‘I expect there will be some annoyance’ he said, ‘but I’ve called in a mediator and if we have to we will resort to sprinkles. It will just be a matter of reeducation. Holywood people love their 99’s. I never could understand why Holywood golf club and the Culloden hotel wouldn’t let me park my van there but it’s their loss’.

‘Will we recover if we lose the 99 ? ‘I asked

With a tear in his eye and a tremble in his voice he replied ‘ This could just be the tip of the ice cream, 99’s could be lost to a new generation’

I thanked him and told him I would take the matter up with members of the assembly some of whom believe the 99 is only a couple of years old and see what happens.

As I walked away licking my ice cream I thought

I hope this isn’t the end of the 99 as we know it.